Boyhood

So I was just watching this movie called Boyhood, and the funniest thing happened. The movie started with the boy being 6 years old and ended him being 17, 18. When he was 6, I felt like a parent. I made mental notes of the kind of things to tell my kid. When he was 18, I felt like this boy was me. I was him. His discoveries about life, were mine too.

I think I just frikkin' reverse aged through the movie!

Happy New Year Eve

I had almost settled for a nice, cozy, New Year Eve at home, drinking some tea. Almost. The other option was to go a friend's place and meet new people and talk and make merry. I couldn't decide whether to go or not. So I did what any true nerd would do, right?

I went to Random.org's Coin Flipper app and flipped the Decision maker coin thrice.

Flip 1: Do it!
Flip 2: Do it!
Flip 3: Do it!

Fate. :-/

That time of the year

We are all collectors.

We collect memories.. experiences...

Our triumphs.. our failures...

The crushes.. the love of our lives.. the heart-breaks...

Our aspirations.. our fears...

The desire to be perfect.. the inevitable loss of perfection...

Our gifts.. tokens.. imaginations...

We cling on to them will all our lives, as if living depended on them. But just perhaps, if we learnt to let these go, we could start over!

It is that time of the year.. time to rattle oneself up! I choose to let go. Let go of all the baggage that has been slowing me down. I choose to let go of the grudges, because, well the grudges are for the past, and the future is full of opportunity :).

I choose to let go. Not because it is easy, but because it is hard!

Bring it on, %#$#^R#$&$*.

Caring a.k.a. Giving a Damn

Stay away from people who do not value you.

Yes, you care about them.

No, its not worth it.

Seriously.

On the Happiness of Others - Part 2

We were going to this hot spring, and the idea was to dive in and enjoy the embalming water. I did not have a change of clothes however, so I wasn't sure about the diving in part of it.

Luckily, when we reached there I saw a small stall in the distance. A lady and her daughter (I think) were selling shorts and shirts. I went up to them and this is how the conversation went:

"How much is this short for?"

"100 Baht", said the lady.

"Less?", I said. I did not know how much English they knew - "Discount?" 

"100 Baht."

"70 Baht?", I insisted. 

 "Noooo...", came a low-pitched, low-volume reply. She wasn't happy.

I can't really explain what happened next.  I immediately decided to give up on bargaining and bought the shorts for a 100 Baht.

"Okay, okay...", I said. "Thank you!"

"Khob pun khaaa..", she said. "Thank youu..".

"Khob pun kha.", I said, slightly blushingly. And then quickly realizing that I should use khraap instead of kha, I repeated - "Khob pun khraap!"

And the lady and her daughter gave me a big smile! As I took the shorts and was about to leave she said:

"You are handsome!"

I blushed like a red tomato. I gave a huge beaming smile and left.

Yes, I probably paid extra. Yes, she was probably just happy because of that. But then, she was happy and she made me happy. Isn't that what really matters in the end? Also, perhaps there is no better joy than the joy of being complimented by perfect strangers :)

Of Letting Go

That stupid crazy funny sad feeling.. When you know something is never going to work, but you just can't get yourself to let it go.

Of Hugs & Faces

"Doctor, why don't you like hugs?"
"Never trust a hug. Its just an excuse to hide your face."
"Yeah..."

On the Happiness of Others - Part 1

It was time to start heading down now.

1200 steep steps down the side of a hill - a hill that held up a large golden Buddha statue and a small temple at the very top. We did not climb the hill because we wanted to see the Buddha statue. We did not even climb it anticipating beautiful panoramic views - which it did provide. We did not climb it thinking of the fresh wind and water that we would get on top. We decided to climb it because, well, everyone else was.

And now it was time to head down.

As I started to head down, I saw a few folks reaching up. I did not know them, they did not know me. But I instinctively cried out - "Yay!". And I could see a broad smile on their faces when they heard that.

So I started going down and to the next group I whispered - "Almost there!". And again the giggles and the chatter followed!

And so I continued - "Keep going!", "Half way there!", "Its beautiful up there!".

That totally made my day :)

The Unknowable

"There is no way we can raise a positronic brain one inch above the level of perfect materialism... Not as long as we don't understand what makes our own brains tick. Not as long as things exist that science can't measure. What is beauty, or goodness, or art, or love, or God? We're forever teetering on the brink of the unknowable, and trying to understand what can't be understood. It's what makes us men."

- Lije Baley (Caves of Steel)

Outside and Inside

I lie down and stare outside.

I see a cloud. It forms into a spaceship but quickly breaks up and is forever lost.

I lie down and stare inside.

I feel a weakness. It envelopes memories which are now but broken images.